As much as I LOVE the creative and crafting aspects of planning a party, I seem to always procrastinate when it comes to deciding on event logistics and the more technical aspects of planning a party such as: selecting a date and time frame, deciding on the venue, guest lists, whether to serve a meal, etc. Most of this really needs to be decided on the front end of the planning process. To me, making these decisions takes me from the inspirational realm to a more practical mode by setting parameters to work within.

In my world, planning the theme tends to come first. I love an evening, or at least a small pocket of time waiting in the car, spent collecting party inspiration. During this phase, Cindy and I share ideas and essentially weed out the more overdone or overly challenging projects. We share a lot of laughs and often something totally unexpected comes out of our collaboration. For example, one evening we started sending images of strange animal head masks back and forth, which lead to one of the most unique photo opportunities we’ve created!

Venue:

Most of the events we throw are in our homes. Besides not having many local venues that aren’t centered around an activity, I am a visual person and often begin to set up parties a day or two in advance. That gives me time to create or purchase additional elements, if necessary. I also really LOVE the set-up process and the feeling of seeing all the planning come together! We had a formal living and dining area in our home that doesn’t get use on a daily basis. This space becomes a convenient place to set it up in advance without really disrupting our family routines. We also have a large playroom upstairs that we have used for a few parties. I find that the tween girls appreciate a casual hang out spot to let loose and be silly, without a constant watchful eye on them.

If you’d rather host an event outside of your home, there are lots of great place to do so. Besides renting a room from a restaurant or reserving space at a park (in Washington state, this is always a gamble), popular venues for kids parties in our community are Bounce Houses, our Community Center, the local pool, sports facilities, private athletic club rooms, and pottery painting or art-based businesses. By far the most adorable venue in our community is a candy shop that hosts parties called Candy Mache. The parties center around candy crafts and they even do events for adults. Another new local business that offers party space as well as amazing opportunities for creativity is The Workshop. While these specific venues may not be options for you, they are illustrative of the types of fun places that might exist in your area if you seek them out.

Invitations:

I love looking on Etsy for invitations and, for my kid’s parties, have often gravitated towards photo invitations. However, in the past year, I have almost exclusively switched to electronic invitations. I use Evite or Paperless Post most often, but also use Facebook Events for adult events. They are convenient to send, you can confirm receipt, RSVPing is easy, additional messages can be sent after the invitation goes out, reminders can be scheduled, and they also become a great tool for sharing event photos afterwards.

I still appreciate receiving a paper invitation, but am finding this actually happens less and less. When I do send paper invitations, it is typically for more formal occasions or events where an older population who might not be as technologically savvy will be invited. In those cases, I try to use custom printed designs. These actually are not as expensive as you might think. Costco.com has some pretty designs for less than $20 for a set of 25. If you don’t find anything you like within their designs you can purchase an inexpensive design from a vendor on Etsy, and have them printed using the Create Your Own section at Costco.com.

Cindy loves to take invites an extra step (of course!). Invitations almost always include some sort of treat or goodie bag. Generally invites are purchased on Etsy, customized either in an editable file or by the Etsy shop owner, and then printed and cut at home on card stock.

Selecting a Date:

For some, selecting a date is easy, especially for events like family birthday parties. Other times, it can get more complicated, so it helps to tailor to your guest lists.

When my kids were little and we were throwing family events, Sunday afternoons were often our go-to. As my kids became school ages, we shifted to Saturday afternoon. Now that my daughter is older, with a busy sports schedule and lots of friends to accommodate, we tend to hold Friday evening parties to increase the likelihood that her friends can attend. For my own sanity, I also try to select a date that isn’t right on top of another life event, such as a family vacation or holiday. In some cases, that means throwing a birthday party several weeks past my child’s actual birthday. For instance, Janie has a September birthday and so much is happening at the very beginning of the school year that it is hard to hold her party on (or even near) her actual birthday. For three years now, we have bumped it out several weeks and this year, it was actually held two months later in November when our family had less going on. We celebrate her with a fun activity or dinner on her actual birthday and the party feels almost like a second birthday for her.

Time Frame:

When planning a kids party, I typically start with a two hour time frame and place the specific time frame on the invitation (i.e., 1:00 - 3:00 pm). Two hours is long enough for activities, food and games, leaving wiggle room for those who arrive a little late or leave early. When the kids are older and need less supervision or we need extra time to show a movie, we extend the party to 2 1/2 - 3 hours. For more casual family events or evening adult event, we just include a start time and then hope everyone will stay as long as they can. When hosting a sleep over event, it is a good idea to include the pick up time for the next day so that parents are not guessing on a time when planning other aspects of their day. In my experience, a 10:00 pick up allows time for morning shenanigans, breakfast, and time to get dressed and packed up.

Including Meals:

I almost always plan to feed guests a meal at our parties. If I prepare food, I want the guests to be prepared to eat, so I note in the invitations that food will be served. With kid’s parties, I try to include a brief description of what we plan to serve in case there is a child with allergies or a limited palate (so that I can be prepared with alternative choices). My middle daughter has a friend allergic to food dyes. We offer candy treats at most parties so I will try to be prepared with options approved by her parents. I have also learned that preschool age or younger kids’ parents typically want to stay for them for the party, so I should plan to feed parents as well.

Here are some examples to incorporate meal information into your invitation:

Please join us for Spa salads and sandwiches, snacks and sweet treats to celebrate Clara’s 12th Birthday!

Janie has requested a pizza and fruit salad for dinner and Hawaiian shaved ice for dessert. Please let us know if your child has any food allergies or dietary concerns.

Join us for a BBQ meal from Stan’s BBQ. Beer and wine will be served.

Please come hungry! We will be serving Callen’s favorites from Panda Express.

Guest List:

Guests lists tends the be the trickiest part of the initial planning process for us, especially with regard to my school-aged daughters and their birthday parties. They have lots of friends from school and activities. In addition, there are family friends they have known for years. They also typically want to reciprocate an invitation if they have attended a friend’s birthday party. If we include everyone, the group becomes unmanageable for me, so there are hard decisions to make. The rule of thumb I created with my girls was that they could have the number of guests as their age. (i.e., Janie invited nine guests to her recent party to celebrate her 9th birthday).

There are times when we throw parties that are meant to be adults-only, and in those cases I include something in the invite like, “Book your babysitters now!” On the other hand, if it is meant to be a family event, include that in the invitations so your guests are not left questioning whether kids are welcome.

Requesting RSVP:

As a party planner, I believe in the courtesy of an RSVP. I do my very best to provide a timely and accurate RSVP when I am invited. If I am not sure about whether I can attend an event, I make sure to communicate that to the host and update the host when I know for sure.

One of the best parts of electronic invitations is that, for the most part, everyone RSVP’s because it is so convenient to do so. With paper invitations, I still request an RSVP, knowing that responses are less consistent. I now add my email in addition to my phone number for calls or texts. I find that those that intend to come will RSVP, but that it is rare for someone to actually attend that did not RSVP.

Drop Off Discussions:

At drop off parties, I like to greet each guest at the door, especially if we do not know them well. I know I feel more comfortable leaving my child at an event when I have spoken with the parent at drop off and confirmed the pick up time.

With smaller children, I also like to collect parent/guardian’s phone numbers at the door in case we need to reach them quickly. At drop off I also go over our planned activities and inquire about food allergies. With smaller children, I also ask about candy treats or any activities, such as whether they were comfortable with the child doing face masks or eating ice cream. Rarely is there a concern, but I just want to play it safe to ensure everyone has a good time.

Photos & Social Media:

In addition to decorating for a party, I love to take party photos, both of the event elements and of the guest having a good time. If I share theses photos in a more public forum, I want to make sure parents approve of me doing so. I send out photos taken during the event using the Evite app so guests can take a look.

I have recently entered the cell phone stage with Scout. We held out until middle school and don’t allow social media, but know that rules vary within the the families of her peers. During play dates, I request that kids’ cell phones be left of the counter downstairs. I regret not enforcing this policy at a recent party as I later found out that unauthorized images of girls with face masks on ended up on TikTok. It wasn’t really a disaster, but it left a few guests feeling a little violated. Lesson learned!

Gifts:

Many people are opting to indicate “no gifts” on birthday party invitations. I completely respect that choice, but admittedly I struggle not bringing something when I arrive at an event. In this case, a bottle of champagne, flowers, or a known favorite sweet treat make for a great gift for adults. Other times I look for a small token item that is homemade, or personalized (such as adding a vinyl decal to personalize a insulated cup). For my kids, I encourage them to create a homemade birthday card that includes a nice personalized sentiment.

Some families make the “no gift, please” request for kids’ parties. I actually love that, but I haven’t ever gone that route. Ultimately, the party is for my kids and while I often present this as an option, they are not eager to give up presents. Receiving gifts is a life skill and I require some sort of acknowledgement of the gift and highly encourage “thank you” notes, even if they come in the electronic form.

If you are looking for more gifting inspiration, check out our Gift Ideas post for some ideas and links.

Structured Activities:

Having planned activities applies more to kid parties or events where adults might not know one another, like bridal or baby showers. In running with the theme, I try and come up with something unique for guests to participate in like Hula dancing at a Luau party, playing with “magic” wands at a Wizard Party, or trying face masks at a Spa party. If there may be any apprehension from guests or preparation or costumes needed, then it is best to include this information in the email.

For younger children, I like easy crafts or games and offer them in several stations so that kids can be doing several things at once. I also find that pre-school aged kids and very content just exploring toys in a new environment.

For school aged kids, I plan a larger multi-step activity, often a craft or even a lego building session.

As kids get older, I find that they like equal parts of activities, but also free time to just be together and socialize.

In full disclosure, I don’t have much experience planning parties for high school age kids, besides helping on graduation parties. But I imagine that my kids will seek more time to just be with their friends. As I gain that party experience, I will update what I have learned.

Check out Davis & Scout’s Event Activities post for more discussion about party activities from games, pinatas, to mad science experiments.

If you have any party related questions or ideas to share, we’d love to hear from you at:

info@davisandscout.com